aghostofasmile: picture of legs of someone lying on her bed. (Default)
Weird how I won't be saying 'hello lj' or something like it ever again.

My entries have been imported, and I'm just waiting for the last bit to finish and then I can go through deleting some stuff. I'm not actually sure if there is much point deleting a lot of things? It's out there anyway... Suggestions?

Also, in the past they did import comments on dreamwidth and it seems that is no longer a thing, which makes me sad. I have an archive of most of my blog on my computer, but that tool is no longer working? Ugh. I should have kept up with the backing up thing. :( Comments are in my email, so I guess it's not lost forever.

I've been rereading a lot of things I wrote in the past and it's made me realise how much I miss it. There's a good five year gap between semi-regular posting, my gosh.

Anyway, not much news to offer really. I've been applying for jobs again. I feel like this time my motivation has changed from 'I want to do something that helps people!' to 'please mother of GOD get me out of this JOB'. It's not bad in itself, I get a lot of responsibility and stuff. But it's always 'in case someone else falls out' so sometimes I fall back to the basics of the job which is slowly killing my spirit. I'd like to either grow in this career, and become a managing assistant to the front end area (i.e. organising day to day cashier work, keeping tabs on financial day to day stuff, and a lot of HR) or find a new career. I want to learn and grow.

I've seen a coach to help me figure out what's the what in my brain and do feel like I've made up my mind about some stuff. It's given me some confidence and affirmation about my skills that I haven't gotten in a long while. I used to be uncomfortable being a leader, but I've found that I do enjoy it and I want to explore that. I also want to work with people. Helping them, or talking to them, or coaching them, whatever. But I don't think I'll be happy behind a desk full time.

At the same time, it's not like I'm happy now, so if my current applications don't work out, I'll see what I can do desk job wise. If that doesn't satisfy me, I can see about studying social work.

It sucks that I was so specific in the past about what I wanted, I never wanted to study social work, I wanted my bachelor's to be enough, I wanted only the social sector, etc. Who knows what I missed because of that? But it made me feel secure to have that plan, and like all other graduating people probably, I thought my situation was going to be different!

I'm going to my old college for a symposium on coaching soon together with Sofie, who is also exploring other options job-wise. It's going to be cool to learn something, but it's going to even better to hang with her. Over the years I have kept in contact with my college friends, but it's almost always a group thing, which is awesome but not the same. We've all got different lives now, and I still live farther away from them all, and I always miss them.

Speaking of friends, Eliza is expecting identical twins! I remember talking about her on my lj and that is years and years ago. How great is it to find that we still have space and time in our lives for each other, so we can see the change from highschool graduates, to being an entrepreneur (in-house architect!) married with children?

Life isn't bad. I love living with Fia, we make it work really well. I love cooking, and being on my own. Little things will always be 'not perfect' but that's fine.

Hopefully this move will kick start me into posting more regularly!

See you soon. Hopefully.

April 2017

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