Apr. 19th, 2010

aghostofasmile: Picture of wall with poem painted on by Hafiz (even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me") (it lights the whole sky)
Hello hello,

I finally have a title for my dissertation. I am way too lazy to translate it, but I promise you it's very interesting. :P My back aches from stress and because I've been sitting in an uncomfortable position for too long.

By this time Fia probably left already, and I have no way of letting her know I don't have my phone with me. Ugh, I guess the fact that her messages won't arrive (battery dead) will tip her off?

It's very stupid, I left my phone in the car, and noticed like a half an hour after my sisters left. Then I was like, all panicky and omgomg my phone, like this crazy person who cannot live without her cellphone. Which is you know... I can, I just would rather not. What if there is an emergency? What if the internet disappears? No one will be able to reach me. :P

So I'm going back to Bruges by train, I'll sleep at home, since I only have class at 4 pm on Tuesday.

The ceiling is making creepy creaky noises, ew.

I met up with Simon and Biene on Friday. It left me feeling somewhat discontent. Not because I didn't have fun, but because I felt so good, hanging out with the both of them. I guess mum isn't entirely wrong when she says I still have a 'thing' for Simon. But the 'thing' is really tiny and it's a 'if this were another world or life' kind of thing, you know? Like there is definitely some chemistry, I am SURE I am not making that up, but it's like... I think we both know it's there, but no one actually talks about it. Like a potential, that will never be more than just a thought.


Anyways. We get along so well, it's sad these meet ups only happen like... twice a year. :P At least I still have Biene. :D And I'll try my hardest to meet up with her regularly once I graduate.

Speaking of graduating... Whereas I was all 'D: no but I love school!!!' I am more 'meh' about it now. I really do love school, it's not that. I love the fact that I'm not quite grown up enough to do everything on my own, and there's no need for me to be a 100% adult person yet. But I'm also getting sick of my life being all about school. I want work. I want to drive a car. I want to meet someone and fall in love. I want my own place, in a couple of years. I want to learn how to cook. I want to bake cookies with Matteo. I want to write, and learn how to write better. I want to take three more years of piano, so I can graduate at music school as well. I want to learn jazz dance. I want so many things right now, and I feel like I'm just waiting for everything to happen, and it's all in the future, after I graduate, and I'm sick of thinking like that.

It's not that studying means not really living, because it is, I'm learning and the student life is awesome. But I think I'm finally ready to start that other kind of living. The scary kind, I guess. The kind where I'll have to look for a job, and pay my own clothes.

I'd love to write more, because I'm on a roll, but my back is really really hurting so I'm going to go to sleep.

Take care everyone. ♥

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